dontwanttoloseher

i agree we don't have trust and I hate it.
I did for the longest time, until last year with the whole facebook thing. couldn't understand her insane jealousy, when I was never like that and her 'spying' on me
about 12 year back one of my ex's parnet died, I wanted to go to the funeral to show respect, she freaked out I didn't go. then about 10 years back she tells me she saw her ex of 3 years, he told her one of the parents died, told her to go to the funeral, she said she wouldn't out of respect to me,. I told her i didn't mind. thing is, if the situation was reversed, she would have freaked that I even talked to an ex.

so i don't think she ever trusted me, and I don't know why, maybe cause her parents split young and mine are still together. maybe cause her mom died when she was only 24, then her dad before she was 30. i don't know.
I do know we have been thru alot. We had taken care of her nephews from 95-2001, (ages 8-11 when they moved in) her grandparents from 1999-2001/2005 until they passed, I worked 3 jobs for a number of years supporting the crowd and sleeping in the patio as my own two kids were in my bed with my wife and the other rooms occupied.

I NEVER cheated on her while married, though the opp was there as we both discussed that when we got married (we dated near 7 years b4 marriage) it would be till death do us part not when we were sick of each other like so many of our friends back then.

Now i wonder what goes on in that office, what went on at home while I was working and kids were in school, what happens on the almost nightly shopping trips.
Now I wonder if i had been played this whole time...