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greeneyeddolphin · 09-14-2010, 02:35 PM

I'm trying to make sure I understand: he's moving to the States, and telling you not to come here just for him. Is that right?

If so, I agree with him. Don't move here *just* to be with him. You're not married, you have no kids together, and if things don't work out, you're far from family and friends who can not only help you deal with the loss of the relationship but also help you get back on your feet in finding a new place to live, a job, or whatever else you might need.

In saying that, I have once moved some distance (not another country, but several hours) from family for a man. The relationship did not last. In fact, we broke up just before my move was official. However, my move turned out to be beneficial, because I had other things going for me there. I had a job, a place of my own to live, and I later met my ex-husband, who fathered my two children.

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you move for him, at least make sure that you have things going for you when you do so. Make sure you will have a job, and the ability to take care of yourself. Make sure to make your own friends and have something of a life that is...well, not separate from him exactly, but that you would be able to continue on with even if you and he broke up.

09-14-2010, 02:35 PM	#2 (permalink)
greeneyeddolphin Member Join Date: May 2010 Location: Florida Posts: 1,492	Re: interacial relationship at the crossing I'm trying to make sure I understand: he's moving to the States, and telling you not to come here just for him. Is that right? If so, I agree with him. Don't move here just to be with him. You're not married, you have no kids together, and if things don't work out, you're far from family and friends who can not only help you deal with the loss of the relationship but also help you get back on your feet in finding a new place to live, a job, or whatever else you might need. In saying that, I have once moved some distance (not another country, but several hours) from family for a man. The relationship did not last. In fact, we broke up just before my move was official. However, my move turned out to be beneficial, because I had other things going for me there. I had a job, a place of my own to live, and I later met my ex-husband, who fathered my two children. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you move for him, at least make sure that you have things going for you when you do so. Make sure you will have a job, and the ability to take care of yourself. Make sure to make your own friends and have something of a life that is...well, not separate from him exactly, but that you would be able to continue on with even if you and he broke up.