Quote:
|
the mother in law is returning in a month or so and intends very much to live with us again, so i have a month or so to find a solution to that or a month or so before i completely lose it.
|
If I remember correctly, aren't you already in a shared house and thinking about moving? Way too many things on your plate to consider having someone else move in.
This may sound a little radical, but why on earth do YOU have to find a solution? She's a grown woman! She wants to live with you, tough. She needs to find other arrangements. Your husband doesn't like it? Who exactly is he married to? Who does he want to spend the rest of his life with? If that answer is his mother, then by all means let her move in and you can move on to someone else who has cut their apron strings.
You may look like a terrible meanie, but you'll be a sane one. Besides, you and your husband need space to work on your relationship. That would be impossible with his MOM in the house. If he's unable to side with you and stand up for you while they live elsewhere, your life will be hell if you allow his family to move in. If he develops the ability to create boundaries and stand up to his family, treat the two of you as a unit, listen to your concerns and act on them in a manner that makes YOU, yes YOU comfortable--then and only then should you even consider allowing his mother to move in.