Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - all i do is hurt people
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Old 09-26-2008, 10:10 AM   #3 (permalink)
swedish
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Near Chicago
Posts: 3,308
Default Re: all i do is hurt people

First, your number one priority needs to be your daughter. It has probably been extremely difficult for her each time you take off & each time you do it, you risk her father gaining sole custody should you split up in the end. Until you sort things out, be there for your daughter.

I'm not sure if you're saying your daughter's father is controlling when you live with him or if it is because in that situation you have not worked. If it's the latter, maybe getting a job there will give you the independence you crave & some freedom to be outside of the house. Otherwise, you said you were getting along great as friends when you were staying at your dad's so do you see hope for a future with him? I understand that Robert is clouding those thoughts but I can also understand your daughter's father's frustration with your taking off and trying to put his foot down in that situation, although I don't agree with him using your daughter as a threat.

I would suggest trying to find happiness and independence while staying with your daughter and then figure out what you want from the relationship side. Until you feel a sense of freedom and the ability to take care of yourself, I'm afraid you will continue to flip-flop between the two for the wrong reasons (from one taking care of your financial needs to the other taking care of your emotional needs)...try to get those needs taken care of on your own first so you don't feel so trapped.
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