Talk About Marriage - View Single Post

Hopeful1 · 09-26-2010, 04:17 PM

SmallRose, Old post or not, the great thing about this place is that you always have people reading and wiling to offer a few words, if you want them!

So very sorry to hear that you feel you're still dealing with your same situation from the summer. I'm sure that there are many things -- your daughter, job, money, etc. -- that keep you from spending as much time with your husband as you'd like. It may make you feel as though you're going to grow apart if you don't spend more time with him. If you've ready any of my posts, you'll find that I'm going through a similar struggle... I really feel your pain, confusion and struggles!

Have you started doing anything fulfilling for YOU that is not associated with your husband? You mentioned being young and I know from past experience (heck, I know from my experience now at 40!) that it's easy to be sucked into a world where your happiness revolves around your marriage and your child. But you are an individual and you need to be responsible for at least some of your own happiness. And, you know what? Low and behold, you may find your husband being all-of-the-sudden attracted to this "new" woman who is not relying on him for every joy in her life. Counterintuitive as it may seem, you should try to find something you love, just for you, and you may find your husband paying more attention to you than he is now. You'll be more happy, more radiant, and more confident -- none of those are bad things for you, your husband or your daughter. Maybe join a mom's group locally for a weekly meeting? Or checkout the Meetup website for local get togethers that interest you in your area? Or maybe take a class of some type? I'm doing all of these things and it sure is making a difference in my confidence, happiness and my marriage. It may be hard to do, because you're not used to it, but it certainly can't hurt -- and you'll have fun once you start!

He's going to individual counseling now? Are you too? Do you use the same counselor? If so, or if not, maybe you can suggest a single joint session at some point?

Are you doing any activities together these days?

09-26-2010, 04:17 PM	#7 (permalink)
Hopeful1 Member Join Date: Aug 2010 Posts: 106	Re: Need Advice on saving my marriage SmallRose, Old post or not, the great thing about this place is that you always have people reading and wiling to offer a few words, if you want them! So very sorry to hear that you feel you're still dealing with your same situation from the summer. I'm sure that there are many things -- your daughter, job, money, etc. -- that keep you from spending as much time with your husband as you'd like. It may make you feel as though you're going to grow apart if you don't spend more time with him. If you've ready any of my posts, you'll find that I'm going through a similar struggle... I really feel your pain, confusion and struggles! Have you started doing anything fulfilling for YOU that is not associated with your husband? You mentioned being young and I know from past experience (heck, I know from my experience now at 40!) that it's easy to be sucked into a world where your happiness revolves around your marriage and your child. But you are an individual and you need to be responsible for at least some of your own happiness. And, you know what? Low and behold, you may find your husband being all-of-the-sudden attracted to this "new" woman who is not relying on him for every joy in her life. Counterintuitive as it may seem, you should try to find something you love, just for you, and you may find your husband paying more attention to you than he is now. You'll be more happy, more radiant, and more confident -- none of those are bad things for you, your husband or your daughter. Maybe join a mom's group locally for a weekly meeting? Or checkout the Meetup website for local get togethers that interest you in your area? Or maybe take a class of some type? I'm doing all of these things and it sure is making a difference in my confidence, happiness and my marriage. It may be hard to do, because you're not used to it, but it certainly can't hurt -- and you'll have fun once you start! He's going to individual counseling now? Are you too? Do you use the same counselor? If so, or if not, maybe you can suggest a single joint session at some point? Are you doing any activities together these days?