oceanbreeze

suggestion: you and your wife have to sit down together and make an agreement to ONLY cover at least ONE bill regarding her family. the rest is for you two who are starting off as a new married couple. practice with your wife in the form of role playing for her to say "NO" so you pretend that you are her parents and make such needs and questions afterwards have her say "NO" in a confident, firm manner. as for her youngest brother, he needs to seek scholarships, internships, and a part-time job. this is what i do to get through school every since i started college. i worked to pay off my tuition and books when i attended community college. now am transfered to a 4 year university where i still work part-time and full time on holidays and vacations to pay off school books and tuition. if his institution costs a lot, make him take a loan and then the one bill to pay would be his interest so that by the time he is out of that university, he NEEDS to take a job to pay off his loan.

so this is my suggestions. i understand your concerns regarding living in a marriage to a wife who sways over for her parents, but try to understand her side too. this may be cultural that this is how she gives back to the parents by taking care of the youngest siblings and how everyone pulls together.

so each of you need to put your foot down. you make an agreement with your wife to ONLY pay ONE bill for her family so that the rest is for you two to start out. and your brother-in-law works too so that his education can work out. practice with your wife having BOUNDARIES by saying NO and we'll see from there. it also takes time to do these things. it's not like an over the night results kind of thing. so as the saying goes "practice makes perfect"