Originally Posted by DawnD
Obesity isn't only about women. I can think of at least 10 times my husband and I have looked at each other and went, "oh, look. Little pudgy around the midsection. Time to hit the treadmill!"
He has been told this by me at least 6 times. I don't ever berate my friends who are overweight. It is a personal choice at a certaint point. You either choose to try, or choose to be happy with what you have. I choose to be as fit as I can be, and to be as healthy as I can ( without having to give up chocolate) while some choose not to be. Obviously my husband and I both had expectations that the other wouldn't let themselves go after the wedding, and we stick to that. I am not afraid to tell him he's getting alittle mushy and he isn't afraid to tell me.
Trenton, I roll my eyes back, because you don't speak for me. I do. And I can sympathize with the struggles a spouse has with attraction when the other puts on large amounts of weight. Do I tell them to leave? No. But do I encourage them to help their spouse get healthier? Yep. Am I woman bashing? No. I am a huge supporter of getting women together in groups and exercising so they feel more comfortable going into gyms and public exercising areas. I arrange groups to go three times a week. Because I want to see my kids have their own families and I want my friends to be around for a long time to see theirs.
There's a lot of eye rolling going on around here.
You're right that I don't speak for you and I do appreciate that and listen to what you have to say our own experiences (mine in this case) can get in the way.
I just feel that if we look at this topic using data and reasoning we'll find that the underlining issue is more complex than one man thinking his wife is fat. I was involved with a campaign to end ana (pro anorexia) websites online and when I got into the research I was so shocked and alarmed. I'm also an advocate against the sex slave trade and sexual abuse of women in general. You'd be amazed how often a man's view of attractive will dictate what a woman should look like as well as excuse cruelty and abuse to women and girls. It is a sore spot for me and one that upsets me greatly.
How is obesity in marriage linked to these issues? For me it's the same thing on a smaller scale. Am I taking my personal experiences and perceptions and making assumptions...I admit that I am but, honestly, aren't we all?