| | Why do i feel so empty
Hello to all. This is my first after snooping around for a while. I am 41 and my wife is 39. We have been married for 15 years. After a great start the first year we began having problems for several years before we began to work them out. I will keep this short but feel free to ask more if needed. The last 5 years things have slowly gotten better as we began to understand each other more. We have both hurt each other but even after things have gotten better I am still lonely and feel distant from her. Not understanding it I first thought she wasn't doing enough but maybe I just can't get my head straight.
We both still have defensive issues. I pulled away from her for several years do to lack of sex primarily. I went from being proud to walk down the street with her by my side to feeling like the jerk walking by her side. Now that things are better I still feel this way and do not think I should. I still wonder what I will mess up next and I am still on eggshells at times. Have the years conditioned my behavior and I can't get out of it? I greatly miss the way I used to feel about her. She thought the world of me and I just can't convince myself of that now even though she loves me.