bluebutterfly0808

i can sympathize with you on so many levels! i have gone through a very similar situation (no physical contact). i also feel that my husband does not truly get it. he knows i'm hurt but i'm not sure the actions to correct things are there. after a few months of ups & downs, i have decided to forgive him & move on with a positive attitude. i realized that i can't make my husband do things or make me feel a certain way. i am exhausted, unhappy, & emotionally drained. i have lost a ton of weight (not entirely horrible but yet another reminder). i keep going over things again & again & getting myself hurt again & again. i can't do it anymore. he has said many times how stupid he was & that i am the only one for him. early on, he gave me a card which was very deep & would've taken him time to pick out the right one. these are the things i must remember. he has reassured me over & over. i guess i was like you & looking for some big, cosmic changes, but there i go with my expectations again. i have decided to take his word & give him a 2nd chance. what else can i do? what will be, will be. i can only change myself & hope for the best. i will keep communicating my feelings as much as i can to him & expect different reactions than i did in the past. i feel much better after deciding this, but i has been almost 3 months! give yourself time to sort out your feelings. only you will know when or if you will be ready to say - i forgive you. my marriage will forever be changed from this point on but i am now trying to see the positive over the negative. (check out my post - "how do you let it go?). keep posting! it helped me so much to get such wonderful advice & encouragement when i was feeling down! (swedish was a big help!) good luck & keep us posted!