Chloe

Dear Posters,

I am new to this forum and would just like to introduce myself. I have been married to the the love of my life for 18 years and we have 3 beautiful children. I married my best friend. From the moment I met him, I felt like I had known him all my life. Our friendship was pure and loving (we met 20 years ago). Through life's ups and downs, we always could bank on our friendship. These past 5 years, between raising our children, finances, jobs, illness, outer family problems etc we melted into a blended family and our intimacy became pretty rare. About 2 years ago, my husband became ill and we stopped having sex completely.

Two months ago, I found out that he was having an internet affair. I believe it started this January. It appears that it started through the internet and evolved into phone calls and text messages. When I found out, I was completely devasted. He is remorseful and we have been seeing a marriage therapist. He claims he was lonely and he was looking for friendship. I know it wasn't physical because my husband has been impotent for these last two years but I am stillhorribly devasted because I still think everything starts in the mind anyway. He was my best friend and the only person I could trust completely in the world. I feel so lost and lonely. He has been trying but I am so incredibly hurt I will never be the same and I don't know if I can truly ever heal from this. I wake up everyday wanting to cry.