Nekko

Forgetting about your husband for a couple of seconds, what about your sexuality in general? Do you fantasize, do you ever get horny?

The more he'll ask the more you'll get turned off, that's a sure thing. It will put a lot more pressure on you. That stress will kill even the tiny trace of attraction you could develop if left alone. I'm dealing with the same thing with my husband except he's the one who doesn't really want to. I feel like i should also say the more you starve him of it, it's likely more he'll want it and the more attractive you'll be for him...at least until he gets tired of asking.

"I was sexually groped and abused a number of times by an extended family member" which means you associate that kind of behavior with something quite bad and unpleasant. Perhaps you should try have an honest talk with your own self (introspection) and try to separate your husband from your abuser. Touches like that may bring you back to those extremely bad moments in your life but your mind needs to understand that your husband's touch is not the same. It comes from a person who loves you, respects you and only has your well-being in mind.
A psychologist or sexologist might help. Till you get there though hope you'll find some relevant advice on this forum. There are people here on both sides of the story, yours and your husband's.

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