Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - Is my husband having mid-life crisis?

shutterbug · 10-30-2007, 01:09 PM

My husband and I have been married now for 15 years. We have 3 children; ages 3, 10, 13. We have been very blessed and I honestly thought we would be together forever because we are so good together. We share so many common interests.
Well he told me he wanted a divorce a month ago and said that he had not been happy in the past couple of years but was afraid to tell me or to hurt my feelings. I immediately thought it was my fault and maybe i havent been doing my part in the bedroom. he said that i did not make him feel loved because i would tell him to hurry up or the kids are coming or something when we were in the bedroom.
I realize now that stress and jobs and kids were all piling up on us both and we were constantly trying to do for everybody, but ourselves. He left and went to his moms but the kids are alternating each day to stay with him. He and I have actually been "together" on two occasions now and it has really been fun and exciting. I just knew we were on the right track.
So when I asked him were we making steps to get back together, or going in the right direction? he just says, I dont know. then he made the comment that he has worked so many years and still has nothing....
Well I tell you this man has everything. It might not all be paid off but he has alot. Money is another problem. We both spend it and we do not like to budget. I have been the one to pay bills. He has no idea about the finances but has decided that he will do his own now and if I need anything, I just need to ask. he is only 39 and he had a heart attack this past Feb 28. He has been fine health wise. The only difference I have noticed is that he is not the "my way or the highway" kind of guy anymore. He doesnt raise his voice or get mad about much. Even my friends have noticed that he seems to be "loosing up".
Not sure what all this means other than we are separated and I am wondering how long this will last? However, I have had lots of time to think for myself and my mind is alot clearer than before. I am starting to pay attention to myself more.
Hope this hasn't bored yall to death. Just needed to know your thoughts.

10-30-2007, 01:09 PM	#1 (permalink)
shutterbug Registered User Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 2	Is my husband having mid-life crisis? My husband and I have been married now for 15 years. We have 3 children; ages 3, 10, 13. We have been very blessed and I honestly thought we would be together forever because we are so good together. We share so many common interests. Well he told me he wanted a divorce a month ago and said that he had not been happy in the past couple of years but was afraid to tell me or to hurt my feelings. I immediately thought it was my fault and maybe i havent been doing my part in the bedroom. he said that i did not make him feel loved because i would tell him to hurry up or the kids are coming or something when we were in the bedroom. I realize now that stress and jobs and kids were all piling up on us both and we were constantly trying to do for everybody, but ourselves. He left and went to his moms but the kids are alternating each day to stay with him. He and I have actually been "together" on two occasions now and it has really been fun and exciting. I just knew we were on the right track. So when I asked him were we making steps to get back together, or going in the right direction? he just says, I dont know. then he made the comment that he has worked so many years and still has nothing.... Well I tell you this man has everything. It might not all be paid off but he has alot. Money is another problem. We both spend it and we do not like to budget. I have been the one to pay bills. He has no idea about the finances but has decided that he will do his own now and if I need anything, I just need to ask. he is only 39 and he had a heart attack this past Feb 28. He has been fine health wise. The only difference I have noticed is that he is not the "my way or the highway" kind of guy anymore. He doesnt raise his voice or get mad about much. Even my friends have noticed that he seems to be "loosing up". Not sure what all this means other than we are separated and I am wondering how long this will last? However, I have had lots of time to think for myself and my mind is alot clearer than before. I am starting to pay attention to myself more. Hope this hasn't bored yall to death. Just needed to know your thoughts.