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Originally Posted by MarkTwain  Can't you see what's going on? He was nice to you because he sensed that you were moving closer to making your mind up. You do not need to talk about things with him. You need to have a talk with yourself. He will know. |
whoa... jedi mind trick. Thank goodness I only have to think things from now on for him to 'know' what i'm thinking. Although, come to think about it (he he - are you picking up on this honey?) he ALWAYS had an uncanny sense of what I was thinking and feeling. We both did. I think we both still do, but he doesn't want to admit it for some reason.
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Originally Posted by MarkTwain Good, it's inappropriate to desire someone more than they desire you. For short periods it's fine, but as a lifestyle it sucks. |
I know!! (insert self pity here)
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Originally Posted by MarkTwain I am almost loath to tell you anything to prolong the agony, but try this. "Insist politely" as you call it, twice a week. Get him used to it. If you have any chance of making this work, you need to stop all other nagging, and just focus on this one issue of sex. If you can, you need to stop him ejaculating to porn - get him to save that for you, but that may take an even more cunning plan, so don't sweat it if it don't come easy! |
Ok, i'll try the 'sex no matter what' method. not sure if it will work to get me to the place I want to be, but what the heck. i don't think he's ejaculating to porn, btw. I KNOW he hasn't in at least three weeks. How is bad sex better than no sex? And if I get him used to "just doing it" twice a week, how do I get him to start REALLY having sex again? You know, foreplay, fun, diff positions, toys, acting like he likes it...all the fun stuff?
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Originally Posted by MarkTwain AhHa! Now the truth comes out. You are an intelligent desirable sexy woman who shuts herself away. You have "settled" because you feel you can't do better. I don't know what sort of looks you have, but your other assets make you a very desirable catch - not all men are visual. In fact I would say that women are more visual than men, but don't get me started.
One more question... You said sex used to be hot and frequent with him. Cast your mind back. Can you pinpoint the turning point? |
I'm a wha? lol. I never really thought of it as 'shutting myself away'. I was in a 10 yr really controlling abusive relationship in which i wasn't even allowed to go to the grocery store alone because of his jealousy. Thank goodness hubby isn't like that!
It's not so much I don't think I can do better - but I have an ex with kids and that's a PAIN. I would rather avoid the whole ugly divorce and sharing the baby routine. But it's a very hard decision - live with a man i'm still in love with who only thinks of me as a 'roommate or friend' and never wants me as a 'personal relationship' (his words) or go thru a divorce, breakup, custody etc. Plus it doesn't help he's my business partner.
As far as my looks are concerned, I think i'm an acquired taste - so to speak. I'll never be a barbie doll, i'm too tall and too big boned. I am overweight, but don't have strange appendages, open sores or anything like that. I got a HUGE scar from the C-section (vertical and 64 staples for a 4 lb baby- go figure) so that's on the 'ugly front'. And my stomach got all stretched out from having a 14lb child before that. When I lost weight, the skin sagged (blech!) When we were dating, I looked just like I look now. I don't like me, but at the time he said he did. I've been called beautiful, but that's with clothes on
Posted my pic as an avatar... photoshop does wonders for a girl!
