My husband and I knew each other in high school, and although never dated were very close friends. About a year after I moved and switched schools we started becoming even closer. He was in the marine corps and wanted to take leave before I left for basic training for the army. Our relationship previous to that was phone calls and long distance.
When I finished my training, I was stationed 4 hours from him and we would take turns seeing each other on the weekends. He deployed for a year soon after and when he came back we got married right away. He was dealing with PTSD, depression, and had a sever drinking problem. We got pregnant 7 months after we were married, and he continued to drink and not get treatment. He got out of the marines 2 months before our daughter was born, and after the baby came he still continued to drink. He was drinking while watching our daughter, not feeding her or changing her diapers. I tried to get him to go to rehab, but he refused and stopped going to marriage counseling when the counselor told him he should go to rehab. He left in the middle of the night when our daughter was 3 months old and stayed without contact for several months after. It has now been two years, and he has seen his daughter 4 other times since we have moved back to our home state. I just found out the other day that he recently had a baby with another girl, which I found this out on the internet. I confronted him about it and he says that he doesn't even think that the child is his, the mother was cheating on him at the time and didn't give the baby his last name. I don't understand how to process all of this, but was sort of waiting for him to finish his recovery and was hopeful that he would have had a change of heart and came back to me and his daughter one day. I don't know how to feel about all of this, but it really hurts that I have no one to talk to because all of my family hates him for walking out on us. I had since tried to be in a relationship with another guy, but it didn't work out at all because I have never gotten over my husband. I don't know if it's even worth trying to fix now that it has been 2 years of separation and the fact that he may have another kid. I really don't know how to bring all of this up to him, but know that he isn't exactly happy about being with this girl he is with, and that he misses his daughter. We have talked on the phone recently, and he has told me that he is a changed man and quit drinking, but never has enough money to make the drive to see his daughter and is in a lot of financial burdens. He told me that he was sorry for how things happened and that he really wishes that things could have worked out for us.
Just wondering if anyone has any thoughts, suggestions, or any helpful information for me.
I did ask my husband to please get a DNA test done, so that I could know for sure if our daughter has a half-sister or not, and I feel like if the test shows that the baby is not his I could open up to him about trying to work this out? Or possibly even still trying to work all of this out even if the baby is his?
When I finished my training, I was stationed 4 hours from him and we would take turns seeing each other on the weekends. He deployed for a year soon after and when he came back we got married right away. He was dealing with PTSD, depression, and had a sever drinking problem. We got pregnant 7 months after we were married, and he continued to drink and not get treatment. He got out of the marines 2 months before our daughter was born, and after the baby came he still continued to drink. He was drinking while watching our daughter, not feeding her or changing her diapers. I tried to get him to go to rehab, but he refused and stopped going to marriage counseling when the counselor told him he should go to rehab. He left in the middle of the night when our daughter was 3 months old and stayed without contact for several months after. It has now been two years, and he has seen his daughter 4 other times since we have moved back to our home state. I just found out the other day that he recently had a baby with another girl, which I found this out on the internet. I confronted him about it and he says that he doesn't even think that the child is his, the mother was cheating on him at the time and didn't give the baby his last name. I don't understand how to process all of this, but was sort of waiting for him to finish his recovery and was hopeful that he would have had a change of heart and came back to me and his daughter one day. I don't know how to feel about all of this, but it really hurts that I have no one to talk to because all of my family hates him for walking out on us. I had since tried to be in a relationship with another guy, but it didn't work out at all because I have never gotten over my husband. I don't know if it's even worth trying to fix now that it has been 2 years of separation and the fact that he may have another kid. I really don't know how to bring all of this up to him, but know that he isn't exactly happy about being with this girl he is with, and that he misses his daughter. We have talked on the phone recently, and he has told me that he is a changed man and quit drinking, but never has enough money to make the drive to see his daughter and is in a lot of financial burdens. He told me that he was sorry for how things happened and that he really wishes that things could have worked out for us.
Just wondering if anyone has any thoughts, suggestions, or any helpful information for me.
I did ask my husband to please get a DNA test done, so that I could know for sure if our daughter has a half-sister or not, and I feel like if the test shows that the baby is not his I could open up to him about trying to work this out? Or possibly even still trying to work all of this out even if the baby is his?