| | Re: Wife suggests an open marriage
I agree with everyone: An open marriage is not a realistic solution to a sexless marriage. It's a band aid, that will progressively create more problems then it solves.
If she lacks desire, its probably one of the following:
1. She doesn't like sex and used you to get a baby
2. She is not getting some core needs met to trigger a sexual response to you
3. She's been damaged by sex is some way
4. She has a very low libido
5. She's cheating
6. She's depressed
I think the first step would be counseling. The second step would be for you to take a hard look at whether you meet her needs. Third would be for you to define what you can and cannot live with and inform her of your boundaries in this area.
Sex is a tough one because you can't really put your foot down and demand compliance. She either wants to meet your needs in this way, or she doesn't. Until the cost of not meeting your needs is greater, she's not really motivated to do anything about it.
It's time to be more assertive about finding a solution to this problem. You probably want to let her know that divorce is one of the solutions on the table.