DawnD

I don't know your whole history honey, so my advice my be way off. But I will throw out there what I see. It looks like instead of focusing on the topics that you both DO have control over, it gets shifted to the topics that you DON'T control. I think your H is similar to mine, where any "talk" ends up as him feeling attacked, so I have to really watch how I phrase things.

EX: I hate it when you have to work so late -- ends up in an argument

I miss you so much when you are gone baby. When you come home can we snuggle and watch a show? Completely happy response.

I think you are going to have to find a way to get it across to him that you need him to be there for you when he can, without making him think its because of his job. Just that you want to feel like you are still important to him. Be understanding of his hours and job hunting, but also show him that when he is home, you need him to be there with you and build on your marriage. Does that make any sense or am I completely off?

BTW if he is like mine, he will not like whining. Whining is something children do, not wives LOL