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guiltygirl · 10-06-2008, 07:28 AM

My husband got upset yesterday when he realized I was on this forum. He already knew about it, but I guess he felt I was being secretive. We talked about it a little, and I thought things were okay.

After I got back from my book club meeting, I could tell something was wrong with him. He said he understood me going on this forum. However, now he is feeling insecure about our relationship. He said he is having difficulty differentiating between my depression resulting from my Bi-Polar symptoms and my unhappiness with our relationship. He thinks that my extreme unhappiness is a result of me not being happy with him. I told him this wasn't true. He kept saying he wanted to be sure that I am still as committed as he is to making our relationship work. I told him my commitment had not changed over the last three weeks.

He still thinks I have the desire to be with someone else or may cheat on him because I'm unhappy. I assured him that is the furthest thing from my mind right now. I don't feel like I should have to reassure him repeatedly.

When we went to bed last night, I was really feeling guilty and sad about the situation. He was trying to talk to me about it. He felt like our relationship was much worse now because of my disposition. I couldn't stay awake...I was emotionally exhausted. I apologized and fell asleep.

Here's the worst part though. When I woke up this morning, he had already been up running. I asked him why he was up so early and he said he had trouble sleeping. I tried talking to him, but I didn't know what else to say. I tried to kiss him goodbye, and he stopped me and told me, "You don't have to kiss me." I was taken aback. He basically said that I shouldn't feel like I have to kiss him. I told him he's making things worse. I also told him that when he's ready to let me back in, maybe we can work things out. I am so hurt. Maybe he wants me to feel rejected, the way he must feel sometimes with me.

My husband said he just has this sinking feeling that I'm not happy with him. Maybe he's getting valid signals from me that I'm not happy with him. I told him I'm just not happy with anything in my life, especially myself. I really think he could do so much better than me. I don't know if I can continue to do this. I hate the effect it has on him, and it only makes me more depressed.

10-06-2008, 07:28 AM	#9 (permalink)
guiltygirl Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Ft. Worth, TX Posts: 148	Re: In trouble again... please read My husband got upset yesterday when he realized I was on this forum. He already knew about it, but I guess he felt I was being secretive. We talked about it a little, and I thought things were okay. After I got back from my book club meeting, I could tell something was wrong with him. He said he understood me going on this forum. However, now he is feeling insecure about our relationship. He said he is having difficulty differentiating between my depression resulting from my Bi-Polar symptoms and my unhappiness with our relationship. He thinks that my extreme unhappiness is a result of me not being happy with him. I told him this wasn't true. He kept saying he wanted to be sure that I am still as committed as he is to making our relationship work. I told him my commitment had not changed over the last three weeks. He still thinks I have the desire to be with someone else or may cheat on him because I'm unhappy. I assured him that is the furthest thing from my mind right now. I don't feel like I should have to reassure him repeatedly. When we went to bed last night, I was really feeling guilty and sad about the situation. He was trying to talk to me about it. He felt like our relationship was much worse now because of my disposition. I couldn't stay awake...I was emotionally exhausted. I apologized and fell asleep. Here's the worst part though. When I woke up this morning, he had already been up running. I asked him why he was up so early and he said he had trouble sleeping. I tried talking to him, but I didn't know what else to say. I tried to kiss him goodbye, and he stopped me and told me, "You don't have to kiss me." I was taken aback. He basically said that I shouldn't feel like I have to kiss him. I told him he's making things worse. I also told him that when he's ready to let me back in, maybe we can work things out. I am so hurt. Maybe he wants me to feel rejected, the way he must feel sometimes with me. My husband said he just has this sinking feeling that I'm not happy with him. Maybe he's getting valid signals from me that I'm not happy with him. I told him I'm just not happy with anything in my life, especially myself. I really think he could do so much better than me. I don't know if I can continue to do this. I hate the effect it has on him, and it only makes me more depressed.