Quote:
Originally Posted by babyblues7
Usually when I try and address these issues, he usually says that he isnt doing anything and that I need to move on and quit dwelling on these issues. He has brought up some reasons in the past about why he does these things, one being he is just bored, and another because I dont give him that much attention, well he acts like I should be around him all day and that isnt possible.
I just know as soon as I start to discuss these issues how it will go. He gets defensive and I get pissed. I dont want to go to couples therapy because I really dont know if thats going to help anything. I think he maybe needs to go talk to someone. The biggest question for me is if he loves me then why does he do these things...I would never intentionally hurt anyone. Thanks for the advice  |
This may sound like I am defending him but I really am not. Guys are more visual then women and because they are not as connected in the brain (right and left) they focus more from visual clues. Now should he repress the urges? Of course, it shows that he is weak willed. But he is fighting 5000 years of social behavior. Is it disrespectful for him to do it? Of course it is. You need to tell him to communicate to him and get him to listen.
"Look, ever time you look at these sites you must know you are doing wrong because you don't in front of me. Not that I would want that I'd be offended anyways.
But every time I feel less and less with sharing myself with you sexually. Do you understand that, I want you less ever time you disrespectme this way.
This isn't boredom. This is addiction. If it was alcohol you'd be in therapy right now. If you think it isn't addiction then you can break from it cold turkey. If you can't you need to get away from all of it.
When every thing comes down to the wire of marriage or divorce do you want this to be the deciding factior?"
Maybe it will make him think.
draconis