Originally Posted by turmoil
Why don't any of you readers think that I am a selfish, shallow, out-of-touch-with-the-reality-of-marriage-and-should-just-deal-with-it type of person? I really feel that way.
I think he is home from his 5 day trip. Comments welcome. Therapy appointment tomorrow.
First of all, the fact that you feel this way makes it hard for anyone to call you names.
But to be honest, I also grew up with no family role models. My dad's idea of a present for my 13th birthday was a cheap prostitute (I told him no). Because I married someone with borderline personality disorder, the marriage went thermonuclear right after the wedding, and I'll never get over the images of how she dealt with her self-hatred. Maybe I'm just a pushover, but I cut her some slack for 23 years. She's a great person in many other ways. To some degree, all of us need to come to grips with the fact that everyone has flaws, and ask yourself if your problem is your expectations, or is it incompatability.