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hi draconis,
i have been reading many of your posts, u r a great person and a wonderful husband!
I have been looking for such ideas to spice up our marriage since i had kids. But, what happens when only one person does such lil things and the other always says "thanks" "I love u" and nothing more??? should i continue to do and stop expecting the same???
After some serious issues a few months back we are working on our relationship again, its hard to find time with two babies, and i feel like we just doing nice stuffs for the sake of doing and dont really enjoy it any suggestion!
Sorry to use ur thread to post question! U can pm me if u dont want to mess this thread)
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Here was the message in whole but I'd like to break each piece down and reply.
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I have been looking for such ideas to spice up our marriage since i had kids. But, what happens when only one person does such lil things and the other always says "thanks" "I love u" and nothing more??? should i continue to do and stop expecting the same???
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Never stop, but instead sit him down and explain to him that you ALWAYS want that spark there and that the cruise control of the mundane is not something you'll settle on.
If he isn't paying attention use the tricks from management. Sit him down, take his hand in yours while you are standing over him and look him in the eyes. It is a focus/control the enviroment tech so that everything you say is better received and he is more focused on you.
Also plan dates. This saved the wife and I since we couldn't just "go out and do it". Family that you can count on helps.
Have him start a journal of everything he does for you. I did this for my five year ann. with the wife. When you log into it everyday you realize wow the last two days I did nothing! Time to rev it up again. It keeps you honest to say the least. At the end of things or at the special day those can be gifts for you or if you do it to something to exchange.
By the way you can also keep movie stubs and every thing you do together. the wife still has the five year one. I look at that and the days we made love and realised just how important it was to woo her. When or sex life slipped it hurt us in the way that we accepted things. But I have learned it is never to late to ad more to a relationship.
Some times a partner (specially men) need to be reminded to communicate. By science men are not as good as women.
draconis