| | Re: Someone to chat with and advice PLEASE
if there's love there, and there's hope left, then work on it. don't give up.
i have to deal with my husband's insecurities as well... they used to be more acute before, they have decreased now, but they are still very much there.
he loses hope very easily on our relationship. when something goes wrong, he speaks like it's over and that there's no hope, and man, it's very very VERY frustrating for a woman to hear that.
to be honest, it KILLS ME INSIDE when he talks like that. here i am, trying hard to find a solution or FIX our problem, and there he is, telling me that there's no hope. there IS hope, we just have to FIND IT.
being a woman who constantly has to reassure her husband, please allow me to tell you how i feel... i'm tired. tired of having to reassure him constantly. because i personally feel i've done quite a lot for him, he should by now be able to SEE for himself that yeah, this woman cares, she loves me. i don't mind the occasional reassuring, it can be good for the relationship, a reaffirming of the feelings. but constantly? heck no. i'm tired. emotionally drained. tired of giving. tired of trying. what i NEED, NOW, is for HIM to GIVE TO ME so that i can feel buoyed again.
so... i think it's time YOU start GIVING some to YOUR WIFE. it's take TWO to work a couple, and trust me, when there's only ONE TRYING, it gets very tiring, exhausting. so HELP HER TRY, instead of her reassuring, try and work on your issues and find the strength in you to REASSURE HER.
one way of seeing it; she's given you so much reassurance, it's like she hardly has any reassurance left for her own self. so who's gonna reassure her now? the kind of reassurance she needs, can only come from you.
sorry if i seemed a bit harsh... it's just that i feel for her, and for you too.