Originally Posted by r2d210
MarriedWifeInLove.....long story, but the short of it is....I've been a doormat for 20 years! This is what happens when your a doormat for 20 years!
Bob, thanks for that. Your absolutely correct on the emotional buttons. Wheither she is doing it on purpose or not, I don't know. But, I have learned that because sex for me has been the highest form of acceptence, I will do anything to ensure she is happy, to try to manipulate the next sexual encounter. If she is not happy, that means "no sex for you!" (Seinfield....only no soup for you!) So, I listen to her words, and read into them. If I walk in the door and she is unhappy, I'm bummed....that means no sex! Not ANY MORE!!!!! I'm free....and I'm so excited. I don't want her affirmation....and I don't need her approval! The concept of that is amazing to me. It don't mean I love her any less....but she cannot control me with words or emotions. I won't have it! GP, I can only wish....!
You just mentioned the most important thing, you are free from her control now, hooray!!!!!!!! That's going to give you a lot of confidence, and in the end, it is going to make you a man she craves. But still don't forget to show her appreciation, though.
That can really make a woman feel nice, at least for me, when I do something nice, and my husband acknowledges it and gives me good comments, I am always happy, and I will make sure I do a better job next time.
That's me, everybody is different.