What a fantastic post. Is your daughter now in a better place mentally?
Do you and your ex have an ok relationship now? Do you think she recognizes how different you are today?
My daughter used a bottle of pills instead of a knife. Fortunately her friends and a skilled ER team prevented her from coming to harm.
Originally Posted by Conrad
We marry for so many reasons. Some of which we are aware. Some of which swim through our subconscious.
I could bore you to tears with stories of losing my mother at 18 and a desperate (vain) search to find that sort of support from another human being. The more alienated and distant my ex and I became, the more the rubber band stretched.
When my daughter took a butcher knife to her abdomen on my 44th birthday? That was enough for me. I couldn't imagine the childrens connection with their mother was just as bad as mine.
I was determined to "make things right" for both my daughter and myself. Of course, I doubled down on all the dysfunction I'd brought to the relationship in the first place. And, in my pursuit of "happiness", I became the "nice guy" of which this forum testifies. Suffice it to say, that's in the past.
But, back to our subject.
If I had MORE conflict in my first marriage. If I had the spark between my ex and myself... would I have pulled the plug?
I don't think so.
Because, the spark my wife and I share (in this marriage) has us masturbating (separately) to the image - and touch - of the other one. My wife and I have each confessed this. It's damned near impossible to get the job done thinking of anyone else - so I've stopped trying.
Would I have faced myself had I never encountered her? I am one stubborn teutonic warrior. I can assure you, I would not have EVER figured out my issues without the inferno she's placed in my soul.
How could I possibly ever quit? She sometimes says she thinks I'm a masochist. No, this is how true passion and commitment fuel the human soul.
If you have that, I don't see any possible way to quit.