| | Re: Wife won't work, moody
Well, in all honesty, if my boyfriend told me I couldn't depend on him after 20 years of a relationship in which I was depending on him, I'd be p*ssed too. The pattern was set, and now you're trying to change things on her, seemingly out of nowhere.
Now, I'm not saying you're wrong here, either. If you're not happy, you're not happy. It does seem very unfair that you're ready to think about retiring, and you can't because you don't really have the money for it. But, you do have to acknowledge your role in this part of the situation. You've had 20 years in which to make her take fiscal responsibility in the marriage, and you didn't. So it's not entirely her fault that you are now in this situation.
Even though you think she'll never agree to marriage counseling, I think you need to require it. Tell her either you two get counseling and some changes get made or you're filing for divorce.
You're worried about alimony, but the fact is, you're already carrying her, so I don't really see how it makes much difference. Yes you'd pay more in alimony, but it seems whether you stay or go, you'd still be stuck working anyway.