Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - Is is possible to get over an emotional affair

Hurting08 · 10-14-2008, 09:36 AM

My wife and I have been together for 13 years, married for 10. On d-day two months ago, I found out wife had a short physical affair 7 years ago. The problem is, she's kept it to herself and held onto the emotional part ever since. It seems every time we would have problems, in her own mind she would revert to those stored up feelings and ask herself "what-if".

As of now, she has been building on those feelings for 7 years and is to the point of seriously asking herself which is more important to her (it doesn't help that he lives 4 blocks away and she has to drive by his house every day).

She doesn't want break apart our family, but she has allowed herself to let those feelings for him build and lose feelings for me. She says she has this strong intuition that says they will be together someday and doesn't know what she should do with that. I'm working on the forgiveness for the PA, but it's the EA that's holding us back. We've addressed most, if not all of the reasons for our own problems, but she still has that strong intuition as she calls it asking herself "what-if".

So here's my big question for those that have been in this situation. Is this something that she will be able to get over? Is this something that will haunt her for the rest of her life?

10-14-2008, 09:36 AM	#1 (permalink)
Hurting08 Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 34	Is is possible to get over an emotional affair My wife and I have been together for 13 years, married for 10. On d-day two months ago, I found out wife had a short physical affair 7 years ago. The problem is, she's kept it to herself and held onto the emotional part ever since. It seems every time we would have problems, in her own mind she would revert to those stored up feelings and ask herself "what-if". As of now, she has been building on those feelings for 7 years and is to the point of seriously asking herself which is more important to her (it doesn't help that he lives 4 blocks away and she has to drive by his house every day). She doesn't want break apart our family, but she has allowed herself to let those feelings for him build and lose feelings for me. She says she has this strong intuition that says they will be together someday and doesn't know what she should do with that. I'm working on the forgiveness for the PA, but it's the EA that's holding us back. We've addressed most, if not all of the reasons for our own problems, but she still has that strong intuition as she calls it asking herself "what-if". So here's my big question for those that have been in this situation. Is this something that she will be able to get over? Is this something that will haunt her for the rest of her life?