Originally Posted by atruckersgirl
Don't ask her anymore to come home, don't pressure her, don't even give her any indication you still want her to come home. A lack of attention from you, a lack of pressure, of desire to see/be with her, may be the only thing that will bring her back.
Just an up date...
Ok, things are pretty much the same, she has been in appartment 2 for almost a month now. My youngest still goes to her as normal Sun Mon and Tuesday. My oldest who did not want to go to her, now kind of uses her place as a dos house, because his girlfriend literally live accross the road. Sure this was a definite plus when she took the appartment, knowing he would not be able to resist the convenience of being close to his girl friend.
OK, so Friday night and saturday night the oldest was by her. The youngest was by me. Anyway she comes home on a Sunday afternoon to collect the youngest and she normally comes into the house to pack his bags and then they go. This Sunday(yesterday), I packed his bags, or at least helped him to pack them and he met her by the gate, I didn't even go and say hello, which I didn't do anyway... but then they left and well that was me on my own.
I still have this very strong gut feel that she is going to want to get together, still no divorce papers. The councillor says to me, "what is the difference between now, being separated and her "****ing around" to actually being divorced."
Suppose she does have a point, but I am still a bit sad and miss her and sleep lonely, but the raw pain is not there anymore, just the dull aches for her. Someone asked me what I would do if she wants to come back, and I said that will have to wait for an answer when the question comes, if it ever comes.
I am not over her and probably defintely not ready to move on... and find someone else... suppose that will eventually come but for the time being I am just "BE ING", as my councillor told me to do. Get on with your own life, go out and have fun etc.
The councillor tells me I will feel like this for a long time, like on a plateau.... but will meet someone and it will go away, like I posted in a nother thread, just for a while will feel good.
That woman that I met was a bit of a crazy, and so let her know I am not interested. Councillor says that eventually I WILL meet someone and those "crazy" feelings will not be there and I will just feel comfortable and happy and not have those "red flag" alerts and it will go from there.... whatever... wonder if it is like that. She also told me that it will take a while, at least a year... so must not expect too much...
Anyway, that is just an update on my situation.