| | Re: Just Leave! Why is divorce portrayed as so simple?
Well I agree with you, but on the other hand I think some partners put their spouse through too much. In my case, I'd had enough. I tried 110% to fix things only to find out he was having an affair. Having discovered that, I told him to leave and changed the locks. Even if I'd not discovered he was having an affair I'd had a timeframe in mind to kick him out. Its not to say I don't believe in marraige, I do. Here is my perspective. My mother talked about her teenage years and the toll her parents' marriage took on her. Her father went through a midlife, she was sure he had a girlfriend or too. My grandmother worked swing shift so he'd leave my mom at home alone and tell her not to tell her mother he went out. This went on for a long time, my grandmother took to following him. She was obsessed with figuring out what he was doing on and my grandfather really didn't care. Both started to ignore their only daughter, my mother. My mother begged her mother to leave her father, told her it wasn't fair what he was doing. Eventually they got a divorce but it was worse both still played head games with another. My grandmother was a beautiful woman, other men began to ask her out and she said no. It went on for a couple of years and my mother was the one who was hurt the most. It was that I had in mind when I decided to ask my husband to leave.
Now in our case, my husband realized he lost everything he wanted and we have reconciled. But even he said he had to lose it all to realize just how much he had. He's working hard to repair it and I do believe in second chances.
In case you wonder what happened to my grandparents, my grandfather suffered a massive stroke during this my dedicated grandmother remarried him and cared for him for the next 40 years. The stroke changed my grandfather, and he became a better person. In fact, I am very proud of the man my grandfather eventually grew up to be. Too bad it took something that nearly took his life to realize what it all meant.
In most cases I think people leave too soon but in the case of an affair, abuse, or neglect enough is enough.