Scannerguard

The most disturbing part of this is not so much what happened but your wife's casual dismissal that "you wouldn't understand" when obviously, you have an ability to empathasize with her position.

First of all, you can't be too hard on yourself. There are a lot of men who can't last for long.

Second of all, you are putting too much of this on you.

You know what? Anger can be a positive emotion - you need to get angry a bit here.

Your wife sounds sexually lazy to me actually. She needs to tell you what she needs from you and work with what she has - physically and emotionally. Because that's what we alll do when we are married, right?

Sex from a guy is more than just a hard penis and rapid and hard thrusting. It consists of loving each other, seducing each other, culiminating in the intercourse. Honestly, there were times we both wanted it so bad we came in like 20-30 seconds. Or sometimes not at all (yes, even for a guy).

Yeah, I can sort of dig an open marriage but to me, that sort of thing should start before cheating, not after.