It's not the ring that's the problem, its the relationship. This is just where she can safely vent her anger. Some of the things you have to fix are some honesty, trust and priority issues. It's not just how you treated her. It's how you will treat her in the future that she's probably concerned about.
You still have children with your ex and this is someone that you've consistently put more importance on over your girlfriend. I can't imagine feeling stable in that situation. You have to reassure her that you will place her as a priority in your life and that you will be HONEST about what you are doing and why in the future. You've already broken trust. I think there are some areas on this board that deal with that.
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I was just having a casual relationship with my ex I actually wanted to break up with her for a while. I was getting stationed somewhere else and thought I'd just let things break off on their own. She stopped taking the birth-control pill (without me knowing), told me antibiotics nullified the pill. 2 weeks after I left she said she was pregnant and so I decided to marry her.
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Please do not talk about your ex like this in front of your girlfriend. This is someone you were married to and had multiple children with. Unless this "oops" resulted in twins, you continued to have a sexual relationship. Also, this says to your girlfriend "You know that girl I didn't even care about too much? Yeah, she's still more important than you."
You've correctly identified some of the problems with the ring. Can you take it back and go shopping with her as a sign of good faith? It's not the price of the ring, it's the thought (or in this case the ring seemed like an afterthought just like her in your life). Good luck. All is not lost. She obviously cares about you or she wouldn't have been so upset. Please be there for her. Consistently.