| | Re: HELP--Wife not affectionate enough, getting to be a big Issue!
The most straightforward way to get a sense of where your marriage stands is to have a discussion.
The discussion shouldn't be about what you perceive as her avoidance or lack of interest in you. The point of the discussion is to discover how she feels about your marriage and HER life.
If she isn't happy with herself and her direction, it won't matter if you're Prince Charming.
It's not your job to make her ok with her life, but ... it is your job to always bring your 'A' game to the marriage.
Be the kind of partner that attracted her to you in the first place.
Own your sh!t. Don't look for excuses if you mess up. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Do what you say will you do.
I don't really know how else to phrase this other than suggesting that you cultivate a sense of personal honor and personal boundaries. Live by them. Defend them.
Before I get wordy ... the only changes to be made, must be made by you. You cannot change her. You cannot make her do a damn thing. But ... by changing how you do things, a side-effect is that she may change how she does things, or how she sees you.
Lots of information on this subject in the Men's Clubhouse.
I will also point out that if a spouse usually makes drastic changes in their appearance in terms of weight loss, fitness, wardrobe, or attitude - and you are not on the receiving end of those benefits, or they seem detached, it is a classic red flag for active, or pending infidelity. I'm giving you a heads up. I'm not telling you your wife is having an affair.
"I figured out they were serious eventually but was thinking it was ridiculous. I wanted to kick them in the balls." - Trenton