Join Date: Mar 2008
| | Re: Stuck & Could Use Some Advice/Insight
How long has she been on the third shift? I work teh third shift as well.
I am constantly tired and cranky. My life is miserable when I work the third shift. I sleep about 6 hours a day, but no matter how much you sleep duringt he day time, it does not equal the same type of sleep at night. I can get a 2 hour nap before work in the dark of night and it is a better sleep then 6-8 hours during the daytime, your body is just not programed for "quality" sleep during the day, anyone that works the third shift knows what I am talking about. We hate it.
Also, we are always to tired and cranky to do house work, I ahve a lawnt to be cut, hedges to trim, stuff to do...but I find I don't becuase I am tired, cranky, I'm just not motivated to do it, and I find I am short with my wife when I find Dishes, laundry, etc, even though she works 40hrs as well so I often realize I am being a butthead and apologize, and she knows it's the night shift.
Sex life can be hurting as well, we are like ships in the night, either I am to tired, or she has to work, or we have to do something as a family, we have to fit it in. My sex drive plumments when i work the night shift. I am just to tired.
My recommendations, take her "complaints" with a grain of salt, it's her crankiness talking not herself. Talk to your 12 year old that this is a rough life in terms of her step-mother and her tiredness/crankiness, not to take things to heart.
Give the 12 year old some chores, I have a list of chores for my three children, they get points each day for each chore they complete for me..Dishes, laundry, getting the mail, putting the garbage out, etc. At the end of the week they get a $$ for the amoutn of points they ahve earned. 10 points equals $2, 20 points equals $5, 50 points equal $10 100 points equals $20, they get points for all kinds of things, Putting their shoes away, cleaning the living room, doing their homework without being told, feeding the dog, etc. It really helps around the house and motivates the kids to do some work, espically if they want something rom the store. They have to buy stuff with their own money.
since you only have a 12 year old and 2 year old, I would pay/earn points her for watching the 2 year old so mommy can get some sleep. etc.
I would also see if your wife can switch shifts, the third shift sucks, even if the money is better, it is not worth the strain on the family. I do it for Soccer season only so I can coach my childrens soccer team and I keep my crankiness in check. If she can't switch, do the best you can and you ahve to be the strong one her, she is can fall into depression rather quickly working this shift