| | My life seems such a mess.
This is what's up. Been together for 20 years and been through alot. This summer my mother in law passed and it is so hard. She was center in our life, marriage and family. My husband was her baby and he is having a hard time through the first set of holidays. We have had many issues and the biggest for me is feeling last. There has always been something more important than I. Christmas is in 2 days, finances are at a breaking point, I did not get the job i REALLY wanted. He has cheated three years ago and we cannot communicate. He is hurting and I really do not give a darn because it is all about him. He cannot support his father, siblings or children and he told me that I have to deal with it because he has more important things to deal with. I am not asking for much. Just some incouraging words when I have to negotiate with the bill collectors and dealing with not getting this job that I interviewed for late last week. We are fighting. He says that I am a control freak, which is absolutly insane. I miss her too and have suffered from my father's loss 9 years ago that I still cannot talk about. I have also lost many others since my father's death. He is so cold, I feel that this is going to break what little is left from all the previous issues. What is there to do. Where do I put my faith.