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How to cheer-up my husband?

11K views 10 replies 4 participants last post by  luvmydarling 
#1 ·
My husband is stuck in the wrong job,worng place,wrong surrounding for a year now. He hates it to the core but we need the job as it gives us our daily bread. I don't work presently because I took a break to start my graduate program and so we need this job.
But, he is so unhappy here. No one appreciates his work and all the work is dumped on him. Initially, when he told me all this, abotu a year back, I did not believe him. Later, I went to his work place, met his colleagues etc and all were praising him for his work and patience to handle his job. I so feel bad for him. We are searching a new job for him for almost 8 months now but in vain. We are even ready to move to a different state/city(right now we are in NY). Still things are not working out. I hope the Lord takes us out of this situation soon. He is soo unahppy and stressed out and I cannot see him this way. I try to give a good surrounding at hom by cooking good food, being patient and loving,taking care of all the other responsibilities etc.
Moreover, I have my GMAT test(standardized test) in 2 months and I'm not even able to concentrate because of these issues at home. I cannot even share all this with husband as he is already far too stressed out than me.

How can I keep him cheer ful and less stressed out and keep him going till he finds a better job? I am just not able to see him this way. It just breaks me down daily in the morning. I'm scared that he wil go into depression(he is already sad and unhappy a lot).

Please pour in any suggestions or opinions.
 
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#2 ·
I'd venture a guess that there are a ton of people unhappy in their jobs. In this economy, he should be happy he even HAS one. That doesn't keep him from being unhappy with it, though. I know telling me to "count your blessings" when I'm unhappy about something doesn't do me any good at all.

Sounds like you're doing what you can. I'm sure you listen to him vent about work as well, until YOU want to pull your hair out. Try to fit in some things that will help get his mind off of things. Go for walks in the park (getting outside can do wonders...vitamin D and all). Go listen to some new bands. I don't know what all is in your area (I'd be hard pressed to come up with much in mine) but do a little looking around and see what there is that y'all can do to get him out and take his mind off of things. You're going to have to make it a semi-regular thing, though. As much as you possibly can.

Good luck on the job search!
 
#5 ·
Try to fit in some things that will help get his mind off of things. Go for walks in the park (getting outside can do wonders...vitamin D and all). Go listen to some new bands. I don't know what all is in your area (I'd be hard pressed to come up with much in mine) but do a little looking around and see what there is that y'all can do to get him out and take his mind off of things. You're going to have to make it a semi-regular thing, though. As much as you possibly can.

Good luck on the job search!
major misfit, Yeah...I'm going to try to get some activities into our daily schedule so that there is a change and his mind is off office stuff.
 
#3 ·
My husband and I long ago had this idea, we work to make money, we make money so we can have a nice carefree life, we don't seek happiness at our working place, we try to get along with everybody, we do our job, make sure that our jobs are secure, then get our salary, enjoy our life.

A loving wife can be great comfort for a man, if he knows that his wife appreciates his sacrifice, it is a kind of comfort for him.

We as wives often bring pressure on ourselves when our husbands are under stress, but us here panicking can't help the situation at all. Do our best to make his home life more relaxed, listen to him when he needs to vent, but don't get worried. You only need to be worried when there is no money!
 
#4 ·
I think a good place to start would be to leave work at work. Easier said than done, I know, but it he's already miserable at work, there's no need for him to be miserable at home during his free time! I agree with majormisfit's ideas to go try new things together. When he comes home, don't talk about work anymore, but go do something fun! Make it so that he looks forward to coming home not just because it means he gets to leave work but because it means he has something enjoyable to do.

I disagree with greenpearl's attitude towards work. I was probably raised totally differently, but I grew up determined to pick a career that made me happy and that was enjoyable. I don't view jobs as "just for the money;" I feel like if you're going to be spending 40+ hours per week somewhere, you might as well have some fun while you're there! I do agree with her though on the importance of free time with family...Really, family is just more important and while you're "lucky" to have a job at all, you're really incredibly lucky to have each other :)

It's wonderful that you're looking for new jobs but I'm sorry you haven't found anything yet. It can be rough in this economy! I would strongly strongly suggest that your husband sit down and really think hard about what he WANTS to do. What's his ideal career? And by "ideal" I don't necessarily mean the one that pays the most. What would he ideally LOVE to spend 40+ hours per week doing? (This is just brainstorming, I don't mean that he should go out and be a street mime if that's his passion). Think about his personality, hobbies, skills, strengths, weaknesses, etc. He might be looking for jobs in the wrong field because of the money...If he picks a field he will truly love, the money has a better chance of flowing naturally as a result of his passion/joy. It will also be easier to get hired and stay hired. Just some thoughts--I'm not sure if you've already done this or not lol, so if you have then keep up the good work!
 
#7 ·
I think a good place to start would be to leave work at work. Easier said than done, I know, but it he's already miserable at work, there's no need for him to be miserable at home during his free time! I agree with majormisfit's ideas to go try new things together. When he comes home, don't talk about work anymore, but go do something fun! Make it so that he looks forward to coming home not just because it means he gets to leave work but because it means he has something enjoyable to do.
Yes,lime. It is so hard for him to leave his work related worries at work. He somehow carries it home like baggage! I'm going to find it hard to make him change this habit, if at all he is ready to change this. I'm still thinking of what activities we both can pursue in the evenings so that he will look forward to something. I know thath e looks forward to dinner because I make sure I cook up a nice meal for him. I bake a lot of goodies too ocassionally to keep him happy.

I'm so scared about my test that is coming up. I'm just not able to concentrate and study. I hope the lord gives us the strength to pass through this.
 
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