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Originally Posted by sisters359  Zammo, you were the one who implied that "strength and independence" weren't feminine; the logical implication, then, is that feminine = weak (not strong) and submissive (dependent, not independent) We hear a lot of on this site. |
You are specifically using politicized words - "weak" and "submissive" to bring about an emotional response. It's a clever tactic but easily spotted and brushed aside by those who can recognize emotional, not logical arguments.
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I wasn't trying to shame you by saying you may have low-self-esteem; I was actively saying it as a possibility you should investigate. It's something that happens a lot here-many of us can spot low self-esteem a mile away. Am I always right? Nope. But your hostitilty and defensiveness pretty much says more than anything else I can say.
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Ah, so you have downgraded shame to concern, barely. Google the term "concern troll". You're still using shaming language, regardless. Argue the message, not the messenger. You're in the men's clubhouse now. Logic comes first, reason comes next, and emotions are a distant third.
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And you still don't get it--a confident woman isn't trying to "catch" or "attract" a man--she's living her life, joyously. And when a good man happens by, she will know and make room in her life. What you are suggesting is very explicitly a strategy for "attracting a man"--any man, really, and yes, there is something "wrong" with that. What you suggest sounds a lot like "The Rules," and I was very much saying that a confident woman doesn't play those games or ANY games to "attract" a man. She is herself. If that isn't good enough, she is ok with that. But guess what? It IS good enough.
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And you're still recommending a passive approach that women should take regarding attracting and meeting men. Based on the biological imperative, I am absolutely recommending that a woman do what it takes to attract a man if that is what she wants. As well, I would like to know very specifically why you consider a woman actively seeking love and an intimate relationship as something that is "wrong".
Ironically, you are arguing a traditionalist approach to finding love and an intimate relationship: a woman waits passively (but busily) by hoping for Mr. Right to "happen by". What if by "being herself", she is finding herself
not in a wonderful and intimate relationship with man?
As an aside, would you counsel a weak, not confident man to "be himself" when he would like to find love and intimacy with a special woman? Or should he remain lonely and unhappy?
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Yeah, the angry self-absorbed ball-busters may be alone, but the rest of us who are truly strong, self-confident, and independent, don't have any trouble meeting the kind of men we like.
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And what kind of men are you attracted to on a biological level?
A word about those strong, confident, successful men. They are used to taking the lead and making decisions in the office and at home.
