| | Re: I need some advice please - cheating husband
Hi and welcome , though we wish it were different circumstances
First of all stop blaming yourself. you did not cause him to commit adultery, he chose to do this all on his own. Your husband was before he had an affair responsible for 50% of the marriage issues now he is 150 % or more responsible.
You have to get your mind , body and soul in a better place. Eat healthy foods, get fit , keep your mind occupied, You will need this as whatever the journey you choose to take it is going to be tough on you.
Secure copies of the evidence where you can get to it and he will not find it. If you can make hard print outs and mail a second set to your parents for safe keeping .
What you need to do now is breathe, do not be upset and understand where you are . There is no blame game .
This is the scenario that may be happening:
Your husband is still in the affair and they have got smarter.
He has finished and moved on to a new OW (other woman)
or the less likely of the two is he has stopped the affair.
What do you want to do????
Save your marriage or divorce him?
For the save the marriage part it will be hard work so:-
What you have to do is trace the OW , find out who she is, where she works, where she stays etc. Gather evidence, dig dig dig eg. phone the hotel and bluff that you are the accountant and require a receipt for tax claims for the night with both their names on it. etc...
Obtain a keylogger to load on the PC, assuming your husband uses it and not the work PC.
Keep a very careful eye on the account, look for monies drawn, as the affair persons get smarter they start paying in cash
The above are some example and more support can be given, what we need is direction from you if you wish to progress this.
and YES YES YES look after you and your children first and foremost. You have to be strong for all
Golden rule for you to remember , persons in affairs will always lie, even if they swear on their lives. No lie is to big
What do you wish to do? We can support you in stopping the affair and help rebuild your marriage or you can choose to divorce him based on the evidence you have.
Last edited by Eli-Zor; 12-27-2010 at 06:04 PM.