Okay, you've made some mistakes. Them aside, you really have to start showing your girlfriend that you want to create a life with her. Staying married is not a good way to do that.
If you're afraid that your wife will do something rash, then it's better now than later. You can't control another person's behavior. It's not an "easy fix." It's a permanent, legally binding, eloquent way to say to everyone who is important in this picture "This relationship is over and I am not going back." I can't even BEGIN to tell you how important a step this could be in your relationship.
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My ex has told me a few times that if it wasn't for my g/f we would have gotten back together.This isn't true, I left her because I was tired of being treated the way I was.
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Your wife should not believe this. Tell her different. Do not let her continue to believe this. Tell her nicely, but you should not let her think that the only thing that is keeping you from this marriage is another woman. This is important for her to know, your kids (if they're old enough to understand) and your girlfriend. One thing does affect the other--even if you're just reinforcing something you already believe.
You want to really convince your girlfriend you're serious about how important she is? Start planning for the future. I don't know how old your child is but start planning with your girlfriend about schooling, insurance and college funds. Sometimes look after the baby (do not call it babysitting) and allow her some time to herself. If you live in an apartment, plan on buying a house with your girlfriend. Plan a trip somewhere. Do something that involves some longevity and communication between the both of you. Say to her with action that you are going to be there for her, you love her and your child and that they are the lights of your life right now. When you do talk give solid dates for things that are going to happen. "I'm going to file for divorce Saturday and it should go through in six weeks", etc and follow through. Lastly, give some time between your divorce and remarriage if possible. You need to iron out visitation with your children and make sure your ex-wife understands that you also have a responsibility to your girlfriend and baby.
Then when you're single and she finally believes that she is important, take her to the jewelry shop and have her pick one she wants.