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Originally Posted by married10yrs  How do I desire him when it's not a feeling I have? I don't need him sexually, as I don't come with him only...I need toys to finish...I want to be everything he needs me to be but I guess I just get selfish and forgetful and go do my undesireable stuff over again. |
This is GOOD you see this, you are not trying to defend yourself but admitting you loose site of what he needs at times.
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Originally Posted by married10yrs I am completely available to him for sex, but he wants my attitude of me wanting him, and that is something I can't seem to fake. I am willing to go to bed anytime, seriously, but if I am not into it, he doesn't want it. In some ways that says he wants me to be happy in bed too, but I have told him it's ok for him to be the only one to get the happy ending as it takes so long for me to have the same. |
For some men, this is a HUGE deal. I have read stories online where the guy is literally going out of his mind trying to give his girlfriend the Big "O", I mean, it was getting so bad, he was looking into meds to try, I never read anything so desperate, every position known to man, he was on a mission and if he could not get her there, it bothered him SO much, he felt he needed to break up with her. And she didnt even care! Like you. I was kind of "moved" to how important this was to this guy. Never forgot the post, wish I would have saved the link.
My husband is also like your husband, if I was not "into it", the experience would be HOLLOW for him, My pleasure = his happiness. Just try to understand, this means He wants to give you the world, he wants so much more than just "getting off" -he wants to feel that deep almost spiritual intimate bonding with his wife. So please try to look at this in THIS light
and appreciate his feelings, even that anger about it, it really is "frustration". It matters to him.
On how you can work up some Desire on your part --maybe watch a Romantic movie, read a romance novel, some erotic stories & when you feel frisky, chase him down, whatever it may take to give you some of that enthusiam he is dreaming about. Maybe offer to watch some Soft porn together to get your juices flowing. (Some of us women like it).
Can you orgams orally ? Has he been an experimental Lover in trying many ways to get you there ? Many books on this particular subject . I bet he would be thrilled if you suggested one ! Probably would devour it & be anxious to try these techniques.
Amazon.com: i love female orgasim 