Talk About Marriage - View Single Post

kajira · 11-06-2007, 03:17 PM

Update:

This morning there were tears, his tears and I honeslty do not know if I was as concerned as perhaps I once would have been. I tried explaining to him in a blunt sort of way, "he made his bed now sleep in it".

I can not decide which we would be the lesser of two evils, staying or walking away. I know I do not have that fight in me anymore. I do care about him, but right now he makes me ill. I do not know if I can ever forgive him for having an affair, well 4.5years, in my eyes is a relationship.

Someday's I think I am more confused than ever. When I think there will be a break in the clouds, it starts raining again. How can I walk away from 18 years??? Yet, deep down I have to give myself a chance to be happy. Someone told my that feeling of drowing is no way to live, but through it all I do not want to hurt him...why should I care??

I feel like I am going crazy!

11-06-2007, 03:17 PM	#10 (permalink)
kajira Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Heartland Posts: 149	Re: Still Confused.......... Update: This morning there were tears, his tears and I honeslty do not know if I was as concerned as perhaps I once would have been. I tried explaining to him in a blunt sort of way, "he made his bed now sleep in it". I can not decide which we would be the lesser of two evils, staying or walking away. I know I do not have that fight in me anymore. I do care about him, but right now he makes me ill. I do not know if I can ever forgive him for having an affair, well 4.5years, in my eyes is a relationship. Someday's I think I am more confused than ever. When I think there will be a break in the clouds, it starts raining again. How can I walk away from 18 years??? Yet, deep down I have to give myself a chance to be happy. Someone told my that feeling of drowing is no way to live, but through it all I do not want to hurt him...why should I care?? I feel like I am going crazy!