Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - Ok men, need a guys perspective on how to proceed...
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Old 01-06-2011, 04:14 PM   #2 (permalink)
credamdóchasgra
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Default Re: Ok men, need a guys perspective on how to proceed...

Recently I was given similar advice, because I've always been the pursuer in my marriage and my husband pushes away and distances whenever he feels like it.

Two sides to this for me so far:
1. It's difficult to withhold affection and care for him because it's against my nature, but he's hurt me and taken advantage of my over-zealous efforts too many times.
I've held back approaching him to "fix" the issues that are bugging me.
I'm always the "fixer," and that needs to change.
(I'm not going to let the issues go, mind you; we'll address them in therapy instead of me pleading with my hubs to talk to me)
2. But I feel better about mySELF.

I was told to read the "man up/nice guy" threads and apply it in reverse.

If you feel like you're giving yourself the respect you deserve thar you may not have been getting from him, that's a sign you're doing something right.
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