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CktBridge · 01-16-2011, 05:12 AM

Addressing the military aspects.

I have seen people go mostly two routes in boot camp…They get really lonely and want love and support from the outside (They reach out to people they trust). More often (especially the younger men and women) get mixed up in the groups that are more into partying. They almost all end up in unintended situations due to peer pressure and alcohol. These situations involve sex a lot due to the mixed groups. When she is in boot camp that is limited to a degree. The first week or so after is one big explosion as they decompress from the stress of boot camp.

Since you stated the Tech school was 2 years long that leaves only a couple of ratings she is going into. I won’t mention their names but I have taught one for many years in the Navy and they are extremely stressful to most people.

I highly recommend you get counseling before the military if you can afford it. About 60-70% of the students in my course that started married were either separated or divorced by the end of it due to the stress. Contrary to what everyone will tell you while she is in training it will not get easier when she gets to the real job. You will need to try and understand this and help find ways to alleviate this for both of you.

An upside to the military is they have a good support community and will pay for marriage counseling. I recommend you move to where ever she gets stationed if you can since the long distance will not help the situation. The military will pay for you to move also as long as the school is for at least 6 months. You living off base will get her into a house (apartment) vice the barracks party atmosphere. It also helps to reduce her stress a lot to be able to leave it all behind several nights a week.

01-16-2011, 05:12 AM	#2 (permalink)
CktBridge Registered User Join Date: Jan 2011 Posts: 11	Re: confused and scared Addressing the military aspects. I have seen people go mostly two routes in boot camp…They get really lonely and want love and support from the outside (They reach out to people they trust). More often (especially the younger men and women) get mixed up in the groups that are more into partying. They almost all end up in unintended situations due to peer pressure and alcohol. These situations involve sex a lot due to the mixed groups. When she is in boot camp that is limited to a degree. The first week or so after is one big explosion as they decompress from the stress of boot camp. Since you stated the Tech school was 2 years long that leaves only a couple of ratings she is going into. I won’t mention their names but I have taught one for many years in the Navy and they are extremely stressful to most people. I highly recommend you get counseling before the military if you can afford it. About 60-70% of the students in my course that started married were either separated or divorced by the end of it due to the stress. Contrary to what everyone will tell you while she is in training it will not get easier when she gets to the real job. You will need to try and understand this and help find ways to alleviate this for both of you. An upside to the military is they have a good support community and will pay for marriage counseling. I recommend you move to where ever she gets stationed if you can since the long distance will not help the situation. The military will pay for you to move also as long as the school is for at least 6 months. You living off base will get her into a house (apartment) vice the barracks party atmosphere. It also helps to reduce her stress a lot to be able to leave it all behind several nights a week.