Deejo

Odds are, he was simply trying to please you. He loves you. He wants you to be happy, in turn which makes him happy.

So what the two of you certainly need out of the gate is absolute honesty.

If his sex drive has been leading him to frustration and dissatisfaction with the relationship - that is something you should be aware of. This was my initial point. If he loves you, and is simply looking for a release knowing you won't be interested ... you should know that too, because it's harmless, but it appears you don't see it that way.

If you have a much lower drive, and the thought of increasing sex fills you with dread, anxiety, or anger at him, then you need to be honest with that as well.

If he isn't telling you the truth for fear of hurting your feelings or losing you - or fear of you freaking out on him then he needs to step up, and you should encourage him to do so.

Means you need to step up too, and be honest with yourself and him.

Do you desire your husband?

How frequently do the two of you have sex?

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"I figured out they were serious eventually but was thinking it was ridiculous. I wanted to kick them in the balls." - Trenton