Originally Posted by jonny
I'm going to think about what you're saying. Like I said before - your posts are great, and cause me to 'think'
I'll respond better after lunch.
As for disapeering. I have an amazing 3.5 year old son that's my world and can't leave. But maybe I can leave in a different way - once he's asleep just leave. Go do something, go out.
Come home, go to bed downstairs. ( Though this isn't uncommon for her - I do that on the weekends so I can play vid games after she goes to bed. )
She would flip if I left without telling her where I'm going. When I get back - she would ask and get mad if I would say just out.
Maybe it needs to be done. Maybe I need to create a situation where she gets mad at me, and respond with something such as. You don't respect me, yet you expect respect back? Saying that - that seems to stoop to her childish level. tit for tat. And might just escalate her pissing match with me.
If I had to encapsulate my overall advice to you, it would be this: Stop talking about what and how you feel. Start doing, or not doing ... take actions to change what you feel.
I think SeekingSanity's advice was excellent. Don't stop doing what you feel compelled to do as the right or appropriate thing. But you do not need to do so while also acting as a verbal or emotional punching bag.
I retract my disappear, without notice statement. I wasn't aware you had a child. Find your own space, one that removes some of the anxiety of dealing with all of this.