Originally Posted by AFEH

Tobio,
I think some people just “top out” at times. They have a load on their mind, one more thing and they “top out”, can’t handle it “all”. Not the same as “the straw that broke the camel’s back” because that’s usually an ending.

His apology sounds heartfelt and sincere and at a guess he thinks that’s enough and because maybe he’s so much more on his mind he’s already forgotten all about it. Some people are like that, blow up, apologise, then forget it all happened. It’s called active anger.

But you’re still simmering somewhat, and that’s called passive anger. Me I prefer active anger rather than passive anger.

It is very important to deal with your anger, your husband’s dealt with his already. But you need to confront your husband rather than avoid the issue. Perhaps better to write it all down first so you clearly understand the whole thing yourself. What the agreement was, what happened and how you felt about it. Then either just give your note to your husband or have a chat with him in a quite time, if with 4 children you actually get any. Also tell him what he needs to do to make it up to you, a bunch of flowers or something similar.

I think it’s really important to solve these issues as they arise. The alternative is it all just builds into lumps of resentment (passive anger and dislike) targeted at your husband.