Blanca

I hate guys like this. I really do. My H was/is one of them. Why cant they just be honest!?! drives me insane. they leave you in utter and total confusion and act like they could care less. I just dont understand it. I went through this with my H. At first I did exactly what you are doing, trying to talk to him, trying new things, etc. Like you all that changed was how resentful and depressed i became. When we were doing a boundaries book together he told me he resented me because i tried to "make" him have sex with me. Can you believe that! i was so humiliated and angry. I threw away all my lingerie and the book. Anger and resentment really took over my life at that point.

My reality was that depression and anger was taking over my life. even when we did have sex it was horrible, i felt used, and even worse afterwards. i read an article once that said one should be more concerned for the person who continually begs for terrible sex then the one that is not interested in sex. that was kind of an eye opener for me.

I also read a book called Seat of the Soul. This book will help you with your resentment. You're going to have to back off from your H completely. No more sex. I know its miserable, trust me i've been there. I know you'll hate him and go out of your mind not only because of the physical deprivation but because of the complete withdrawal of love from your H. But if you keep trying to fix him you will get more and more depressed. Read Seat of the Soul and try and apply the principles of the book.

Hang in there! it does get better. my H and I are doing great now. Four years of battling this and everythign worked out.

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"I'm a lover of what is, not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality."
- Bryon Katie