Hello,
I'm so sorry about your situation. I think I have a pretty good idea of how your feeling right now. Even though I've only recently been married, my husband and I have been together for about five years or more, and it's been a constant battle. We don't have any children ( are they making your decision of reconciliation harder)? I think I've been able to get over the incident itself, it did take about two years, but I still havn't been able to regain the trust. Did your husband agree to the counceling? If so, did it help? I'm seriously considering just making an appointment for my husband and I to speak to someone in person. Somehow I feel that it would be more difficult for him to lie to someone who's trained to detect lies, or at least intimidate him.
Anyways, how are things progressing with your situation. Have you been able to get through to your husband. When you talk to him does he actually listen? I'd like to hear how your working through everything, or if you just need to vent
I would just like to say, that you are an extremly strong person and are demonstrating great courage in a very trying situation. The best of luck with your journey, and again if you need to talk I'll be checking back often