| | Re: I want to be happy. Should I be?
I' ve never posted anything before. But it seems I'm in a situation not so disimilar to yours, Confused-Wife and I just had to join in.
We've been living together for 5 years now. I have everything needed for happiness: good eduacation, big house, him, that everybody adores.
I really love him and that makes me impossible to leave, but lately our fights are getting really nasty, he's said some things I would not expect from a sworn enemy let alone the one who's supposed to love me more than anything. Nothing I do seems to be right, I am always to blame for everything that goes wrong in our life. All I need is a little appreciation - what I do get are harsh words how incompetent I am. The kisses are scares and not the right ones, you know, when you are not able to catch your breath. He pretends he doesn't see how hurt I am because he rejected me in bed once again. Every phone call, every email is more important than I am. But when I try to leave, he begs me to stay. I suspect though that's because he doesn't want complications. And all and all we are quite happy. Except that I need someone who will slay dragons for me instead of a dead fish. Everyday I say to myself that it must be more to life than this, I deserve more. I should not settle for less than everything. But in the end I do. Bitter and ready to jump through hoops because I am fooling myself it's a relationship worth saving. But deep down I know. I' ve always known. Maybe I am just not ready to face it yet. Maybe you are not ready either. But you know what has to be done.