Re: I want to be happy. Should I be?
Have you felt this way since the beginning? Or is it something that started at some point after the wedding? If so, when did it start? Is there anything that might have triggered it; maybe an argument or an incident where something happened and the thought "I don't want to be married to him" crossed your mind?
On one hand, I do believe that you should make every possible effort to make your marriage work. It's a commitment that you made and you have to do everything in your power to honor that commitment.
On the other, though, if you're truly not happy, then it's not fair to either of you to continue on in a miserable marriage. And you can't let being the first divorce in the family stop you. My divorce was only the second in my whole family, but I did it because I knew it needed to be done. And strangely enough, there are other members in my family that got divorced after me, because seeing me do it gave them the courage.
I would try to get him to go to a few more counseling sessions with you. If he refuses to go, or if you do go and you just can't seem to get rid of these feelings, then ending the marriage would probably be the best, kindest thing you could do not only for yourself, but for him.
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