Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - how do i get the spice back?
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post #9 of (permalink) Old 02-04-2011, 10:03 AM
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 715
Re: how do i get the spice back?

Originally Posted by MsLonely View Post
To spice up the marriage, you will need to build a basic good emotional connection with your husband first. When the connection is strong, it won't be a problem for your husband to date you happily. However, to achieve that emotional connection, you have to do one thing first. That is, meeting your husband's emotional needs and make him feel fulfilled. One important emotional need of men is to feel accepted and appreciated by their wives.
Your husband gets up very early to go to work all day, bringing home the bacon for you and kids. He needs to feel appreciated by you. With a little gratitude and a warm loving smile, you kiss to welcome him back home from work everyday would make all his hard work worthwhile. It would be perfect if there's a delicious dinner you prepared for him. That would give you a big plus. Moreover, showing your love and appreciation with sincere compliments would draw his heart closer to you. He would love to talk to you about his day, but he might vent as well. Be a supportive & good listener, you will make him feel you're the most wonderful woman he can ever meet and marry.
So from above, you have got some reference about meeting your husband's emotional needs, which requires you to put effort in it everyday so you and him will never grow apart. Daily chi chat and friendly communication is very important. When everything outside the bedroom is taken care, there shouldn't be too many issues in the bedroom. Pull your husband's heart closer first so when you want to inject something new and fun, he would quickly response.
I'm not sure how's your sexual life so i'd stop my comments here.
Wish it helps!
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Actually, that's the wrong way to go about it. Unless you're a lesbian in a lesbian relationship.

Attempting to show your appreciation for your husband without a sexual component sounds great, on paper, but it totally ignores some very essential aspects of male sexual psychology. To a man the above-described behavior would be tantamount to getting a beautifully wrapped birthday present that turns out to have a pair of socks inside. That sort of thing leads to bitterness and resentment. In a dude's mind, when a wife tells him how great he is but isn't making him happy in the bedroom, his thoughts start sounding like this: "Sure, I'm the Best Husband And Father in the world . . . but even that doesn't give me that blowjob I really want."

Sure, we want flattery, sincere appreciation, and deserved praise -- but our primary area of personal validation is sexual in nature. You want to make your husband feel appreciated? Drag him into the bushes and put a smile on his face. That shows him -- not tells him. Women like to be told. Men like to be shown.

And after the sex, the communication flows. Because men achieve far more open contact with their emotions AFTER sex, while women need to be in touch with their emotions BEFORE they have sex. Hence the Man Cave. If your man isn't talking to you, hump him silly. He'll talk.
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