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On line Games

10K views 46 replies 24 participants last post by  whysocry 
#1 ·
Here is somthing I think most of us would never have thought about. Online games. They are fast becoming a big reason that people divorce. There are games out there like world of warcraft ("Yes I play this one") that consume so much of a man or womens time that it leaves there partner feeling left out. Not only does it take up time but it also builds relationships with other people. WOW has over 9 million players online and I have seen more then one relationship start in game that went to real life.

Just a thought to be looking at if your spouce seams to spend more time playing online games then they do talking with you.
 
#38 ·
these games you guys talk about...they must really kick a$$...i told a friend of mine back in college who used heroin...i said"that $#!t must really be good for you to go thru all that you do for it."

he said "huh?"

i said "i've never seen you shoot without vomiting and drooling...besides everything else, you stick a needle in your arm. all for the high..i don't like ANYTHING so much that i would endure that much...

i kinda think the same about you game people. it must REALLY be cool, for you to risk relationships for and all that...

but don't ask me, i drank like a fish for 20 years!!!!
 
#39 ·
Hehe! I have a shirt that says "WoW Widow". My hubby works for an internet company in their call center. Everyone in his office plays WOW or WarHammer while at work. Eventually I told him that if he can play at work there is no need to play at home. Don't get me wrong he plays at home sometimes on his day off and in the evenings if I am doing something on my own, but the games no longer take away from us time.
 
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#41 ·
Someone told me today their experience being with an individual ike myself. The anger and temper, addictions to drugs and alcohol, very real potential at adultry (not me!!), and the seperation from that individual that they felt while dealing with it. They said if it wasn't for the kids, they would have left. But that person stayed inspite of it. What she described was a person who was exhausted with the relationship, fed up, down right pissed off at the other person for taking everything for granted, and would have left without looking back if not for the kids.

My guess Dynamite is that your spouse is hurting beyond your recognition. She is all of those things above. She is in a place right now that she won't likely let you into to prevent the pain.

This person told me that the best course of action is improve myself and work harder at it than at anything I have ever put my mind to. To treat the situation like when you first began dating the person. Everything you did back then to try and win her over you have to do now. You have to put on your best face and convince her your not that person. She also said that the pain your spouse is feeling may make her reject you regardless of what you do and you have to be prepared for putting your feelings out there to be shattered. This person also told me that to this day, she still has to look at the other person and foregive them so that she can avoid the anger that she still has boiling under the surface.

That was 6-7 years ago and they have greatly improved their relationship and will likely be together til death do they part.
 
#42 ·
I'm casting a resurrection spell on this thread. :)

It's been quite a while so, I thought I would comment on some changes and observations. For starters, I've been divorced exactly two years now. I still play video games from time to time but, not like I did when I was married. The few times a month I do logon to play a game, I am bored inside of 20 minutes. I used to play 2-3 hours a night, after work.

I wasn't completely sure of it then but, I am quite certain of it now; I was using video games to cope with the stress of my job and my marriage. I just couldn't take either one of them anymore. My ex-wife and a woman co-worker were causing me 9 kinds of hell. I was getting brow beat daily. It was a hostile environment coming and going. Both of these women are out of my life now and I swear to God, I couldn't be happier.

I am my old self again. I love my work. I love my life. Although, I don't like being without my children. And, there's a new woman in my life who has fallen in love with me for the same reasons the first wife fell in love with me...because I am a sweet, funny, loving, sensitive, romantic guy. Her kids are grown and she has her career - which suits me much better.

To be truthful, I should never have had children. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids dearly but, one of the other peripheral stresses that weighed on me was the part where I had to provide for someone other than myself and my wife. Call me selfish if you like but, that is the way I am wired. If I had known this before I got married, my ex and I could have talked this out and knew ahead that children were not going to be part of the picture.

Even so, I don't feel bad because after speaking with family, there is consensus among us that this a genetic anomaly which happens to be prominent with my mom, my brother, my uncle(mom's brother) and my grandfather(mom's father). My dad raised my brother and I which kind of hints to my mom's lack of maternal instinct. That and she flat out admitted that she was a complete doormat and would have let my brother and I walk all over her because she didn't have it in her to discipline us. Mom is one of my best friends though and that is her strength -friendship.

In short, the video games were just a vice to deal with abnormal stress. I know how to handle the everyday normal stress just fine. It's the part of constantly being bombarded with repetitive stress and demands that starts freaking me out.
 
#43 ·
well, I agree that while you can use gaming as an excuse to deal with issues in your marriage, job, whatever...gaming can be a real addiction. My husband, when I met him was afraid to log on to his email because he didn't want to be anywhere near a computer. He started exercising and taking hikes. That's what attracted me to him. But, when he got injured working out and had to take a break for a bit, he started playing again and hasn't stopped. He plays from the minute he gets home from work till 10pm or so at night. Except for the weeks he works out which is sporadic at best. We live apart Monday through Friday because of his job, and I used to have to wait until 10:30pm every night for his phone when we could talk without the kids yelling in my ear. He was busy playing from 5:30-10:30 every night. While I was busy taking care of the kids until 8pm every night. It caused huge fights and now he calls me before 10:30pm, but calls me manipulative and controlling when we argue because I don't like being last on the totem pole in my marriage. Especially to a game. I think he truly does have an addiction and has for many years before he met me. He has no friends except for online. And when he takes breaks and doesn't play, they don't call him. I have had to manage with this "other woman" as I like to call it because that's what it's like. It's like he's having an affair with a computer game. I hate online games and can only take so much of paystation with the fam. I think he needs help, but he doesn't think there's anything wrong with how much time he plays.
 
#45 ·
WoW, yeah, i was addicted badly, i deactivated my acct and internet until i can my life back in order, i allowed it to completely destroy my life. will i play again? maybe someday, but i know i allowed it to take over, i have to weed out my demons one at a time, WoW can be a bad thing, shoot i wonder as i am a gm, if there will be any members left if i ever go back. grizzly hills holla!!! lol
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#46 · (Edited)
My husband is addicted to WOW he plays everyday from 7pm until 12am or later, he plays on weekends for hours at a time and when we go to my parents to visit out of town he brings his laptop and plays there too. We have a child 2.5 years old and a child 1.5yrs old I have spoken to him many times about the amount of time he plays and how often I have asked him to stop playing but nothing changes he gets mad and tells me that it is his hobby and I should be glad that he is just playing a game he's not cheating,out drinking, doing drugs etc.
I'm a sahm and I'm planning on leaving my husband he has very little time for anything else in his life, nothing is more important than WOW to him not our family he does very little with our children, I do not see him changing he hasn't yet He values his gaming more than anything else and I can not live like this anymore.
 
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