Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - We had a real "relationship discussion" outside of MC, without arguing..

credamdóchasgra · 02-10-2011, 08:32 PM

Haven't done that in awhile, but it's true!

We did "part B" of the "frustration dialogue" we started at MC yesterday:
one person, the "frustrated one," tells the other about their frustration and requests "behavior changes" from the other.
H was the one making the requests of me.

I ain't gonna lie, it was NOT easy to keep from feeling defensive because I definitely have a valid pov on the topic he had brought up.
But I followed the structure of the dialogue---his turn to send, my turn to listen...that's important in these points of disagreement, so it doesn't become an argument.
And it ended with him actually in tears telling me he loves and appreciates me.
He felt heard and respected, and I feel good that he was willing to open up and talk about something, and apply our MC "strategies" at home...and I feel secure knowing there will be a similar opportunity for me to have a dialogue and be heard too, at some point.

We're not in shangri-la yet, we're still deep in the woods...but we can see a way out, and we may even be heading in the same direction.
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02-10-2011, 08:32 PM	#1 (permalink)
credamdóchasgra Member Join Date: Sep 2010 Posts: 1,921	We had a real "relationship discussion" outside of MC, without arguing.. Haven't done that in awhile, but it's true! We did "part B" of the "frustration dialogue" we started at MC yesterday: one person, the "frustrated one," tells the other about their frustration and requests "behavior changes" from the other. H was the one making the requests of me. I ain't gonna lie, it was NOT easy to keep from feeling defensive because I definitely have a valid pov on the topic he had brought up. But I followed the structure of the dialogue---his turn to send, my turn to listen...that's important in these points of disagreement, so it doesn't become an argument. And it ended with him actually in tears telling me he loves and appreciates me. He felt heard and respected, and I feel good that he was willing to open up and talk about something, and apply our MC "strategies" at home...and I feel secure knowing there will be a similar opportunity for me to have a dialogue and be heard too, at some point. We're not in shangri-la yet, we're still deep in the woods...but we can see a way out, and we may even be heading in the same direction. Posted via Mobile Device Last edited by credamdóchasgra; 02-10-2011 at 09:45 PM.